Monday, April 29, 2013

Meet the Brewery - Gage Edition

Those of us at the brewery enjoyed the introductions last week, but one person got a bit shorted in the process.  Gage was in charge of writing his own introduction, just as everyone had contributed to their own pages, but he turned his into an overview of the whole family.  Truth be told, Gage has a lot more involvement than the rest of the family in every step of the way as we make and sell beer every week.

The other thing about Gage is that he likes to be involved in lots of things, but doesn't have an interest in being in the spotlight.  So, the rest of us decided to sit down and try to piece together a bit more of Gage's story to fill in some details of his life.  One problem is that he also has a tendency to say things that are supposed to be funny, but the deadpan way he says them, it's sometimes hard to know what is true or not true.  With that caveat, here is our best shot at Gage's bio.

Gage was born in either the Panama Canal Zone or Utah.  It seems odd that we can't say which, but we have heard both.  After birth, he appears to have lived in 8 cities and 15 different places by the time is was 22 years old.  This seems like it can't be true, but we think it is.

We know that he went to high school in both Moscow, Idaho and in Spokane at Gonzaga Prep.  After that, he was at UW and then GU for law school.  We confirmed these things from reading the diplomas on his wall when he wasn't in the office.

We know that he has been married to the same woman for nearly 24 years.  We also know that this woman is a high school teacher and we surmise from what we know about Gage that she must be the most tolerant woman to ever walk the face of the earth.  Hopefully there are sides to Gage that makes this worthwhile.  We aren't saying that he isn't a good boss.  We would never say that in public where we know he is going to see it.  We are just saying that we are glad we don't have to live with Gage all of the time.  Maybe that's why his wife is happy to have him at work so much.  Not that we want to speculate on that topic.

The other thing we know about Gage's personal life is that he has two kids, both in high school.  Some parents like to talk about every single thing that their kids do, but Gage tends to limit his statements to things like "My kids are great," "My kids are sweethearts," and "Thank god their mother raised them well."  We do know for sure, however, that his kids really are nice guys and do really well in school.

As for Gage's life prior to the brewery, that is a bit sketchy.  He claims to have worked in several places and done lots of different things.  We know that he has an enormous shoe in his office that he says came from the staff at Mobius when he left there after a stint as the Executive Director.  We can't verify that, but it's possible.

Now THAT is a big shoe.
We know that Gage likes most things on two-wheels, spending time on his bicycle and motorcycle when he can, including to and from work.  He has asked more than one about getting kegs fitted to these two-wheeled modes of transport.

He really rode his bike to work this way one day.
Outside of that, we also know for sure that Gage is really picky about some things and totally oblivious to others.  Other things that may or may not be true about Gage - his favorite book is Pride and Prejudice and his favorite living author is Jess Walter; he likes oddly varied music so that it's impossible to guess what will be playing in his car; it is not possible to have a conversation with Gage in which he does not say, "I read this article . . .", or, "I read in the paper . . ."; he won a Pac-10 championship in college; he once tried a diet entitled "Soup and Alcohol"; he and his wife went on their honeymoon two years after getting married; he used to live in a haunted house but convinced the ghosts to stop bothering the family; he had his picture taken with a man known only as "Symptomatic Nerve Gas guy" on Red Square; at one time he was the youngest member of the North-South Ski Bowl National Ski Patrol; he held the unofficial record for the fastest drive from Moscow to Troy in 1982; two of his three closest childhood friends are dead; he has ridden his bicycle more than 200 miles in a single day at least eight times; he once rode his motorcycle more than 1,000 miles in a single day; he attended Madonna's first live concert; he hasn't paid for a haircut in two decades; and he has two pair of shoes that he still wears that are more than 30 years old, although he is the third owner of one of those pair. After seeing that list, it could be that there is more of that deadpan humor than we originally suspected.  Either that, or it's hard to guess what might be added to that list next.

Gage did refuse to confirm which of these things are true and which are not, but when asked about the whole bio, his only response was to say that the only thing that needed to be said here is that he loves being involved in the brewery.  I guess we know that is true.

1 comment:

  1. I can confirm that Gage is able to read, his having used that skill to 'save the bacon' of a certain non-profit. Perhaps a new entrepreneurial undertaking would be to invent beer soup?